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Calling all Brainiacs




Brainiac is a portmanteau of brain and maniac, who we all know as Superman's perennial nemesis, traveling the galaxy to capture whole cities and then shrinking them to bottle size so he could observe the urge and scramble of life close-up before destroying their source planets.


I was lounging comfortably in the backyard the other day, once again with "espresso" in hand, when my new rooom mate, Julian, who you might remember as the very first student of Old's Cool Academy, came out with a pair of almost surgical looking tweezers. He was dressed for church, but lifted up a big rock sitting near the fence behind me and flipped it over. I was going to make a cheap joke and say he saw a few liberals living under it, but I won't. I asked him what he was doing.


He said "Looking for isopods."


He found one and put it in a mason jar he was holding and brought it over to show me. We used to call those "pill bugs" I said. That's right, they're also called rolly-pollies, and they're actually crustaceans, believe it or not. Like shrimp? Yes.


He then explained that they're the cows of the insect world–lumbering herd prey that have lots of babies.


That's a wood louse spider, he said, pointing, and then showed me an even bigger spider called a Virginian Wolf (was she looking for a room of her own?). Both these spiders are avid hunters, not web spinners, and will eat almost anything bigger or smaller than they are: crickets, beetles, fruit flies, and spring tails. Spring tails are able to literally jump a million times their height, which for us would be like jumping over the moon. Seriously, they're fruit flies specifically bred to be wingless, and a bright orange, as a warning, in a certain sense


He continued: Spring tails are detritivores and eat insect feces, breaking it down so that it's small enough for bacteria to consume, which in turn fertilizes the soil. They also eat fungus, which is rotting material that's a necessary precursor to dirt, and that in turns feeds the common earthworm, who clean the soil and then poop it out. The cycle continues, dancing a fine jig between a clean and filthy system. I quipped that what you're saying is nature needs the right mix of shit and shinola it seems to survive.


Don't interrupt, I'm talking here, he said. Lady Bugs are vicious predators and will eat anything: aphids, spring tails, fruit flies, and very small worms. I said I thought they were colorful and fun–my daughter had a pair of happy red and black lady bug boots when she was a kid.


Speaking of worms, millipedes are also detritivores just like spring tails, and mostly eat dirt, he said. On the other hand Centipedes are carnivorous and eat smaller insects, capturing and killing their prey, mostly spring tails and ants, with venomous legs, which act like fangs. They use tremor sense and chemical awareness to detect both lunch and enemies.


Julian said that the basic terrarium consists of a bottom drainage layer filled with small aggregate separated from the upper layers by a small mesh screen. The upper layers are made from a mix of backyard soil, earthworm castings, coco fiber, charcoal and dried sphagnum moss which resists compaction and holds moisture. Mix and mingle the inhabitants to your own whim.


Whole worlds out there to explore, Brainiacs.

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